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First of all the Master Maker, the Exalted Seedsower, who positioned himself close to the life-giving and all-powerful earth with buttocks as bare as the day they merged from the womb, lifted up his raincoat and unfastened his underpants, weeping and groaning, but without any shame or anyone's by-my-leave, and loosened his bowels into his hand (highly prosy, crap in his hand, sorry!); next, after he had been relieved of this dark blast and was trumpeting a call to action, he deposited his own shit (that is what he terms his droppings) into a receptacle which once was the respectable urn of grief; then, into that same urn, with an invocation to the twin brothers Medardus and Godardus, he joyfully and mellifluously pissed, while chanting in a loud voice the Psalm which begins "My Tongue is the Pen of a Scribe who Writes Speedily" (did a piss, says he was dejected, asks to be exonerated); finally, from the foul crap that had been mixed with the sweet essence of godlike Orion, and baked and exposed to the cold, he created for himself indelible ink (faked O'Ryan's, the indelible ink). [cite]




-1DV: "Sings hymn: lingua Lingua mea calamus scribae, veliciter scribentis."
0DV: "boycotted, local publican refuse to supply books, papers, ink, foolscap, makes his own from dried dung sweetened with spittle (ink) writes universal history on his own body (parchment) [...] Primum gemens in manum evacuavit (sh-t in his hand, groaning) postea stercus proprium, quod apellavit dejectiones meae, exoneratus in poculum posuit, idem melliflue minxit psalmum qui incipit Lingua mea calamus scribae velociter scribentis magna voce cantitans (did a p-ss, says he was dejected, asks to be exonerated) demque ex stercore vili mix cum Orionis, jucunditate encaustum sib fecit indelibilem (O'Ryan, the devil's own ink)"

1DV: "boycotted, local publican refuse to supply books, papers, synthetic ink, foolscap, makes his own from dried dung sweetened with spittle (indelible ink) writes universal history on his own body (parchment) [...] Primum flens et gemens in manum suam evacuavit (sh-t in his hand, sorry) postea stercus proprium, quod apellavit dejectiones meas, exoneratus in poculum tristitiae posuit, eodem lentiter et melliflue minxit psalmum qui incipit Lingua mea calamus scribae velociter scribentis magna voce cantitans (did a p-ss, says he was dejected, asks to be exonerated) demque ex stercore turpi cum divi Orionis, jucunditate encaustum sib fecit indelibilem (speaking of O'Ryan, the devil's own ink)"

FDV2: "never needed such an alcove for his purpose and when George W Robber, the paper king, boycotted him of stationery for any purpose he went away & made it himself with his wits' ends. {How? Let it be veiled in the language of blushing cardinals lest Anglican cardinals, reading his own words, behold the scarlet on the brown of the of Babylon yet feel not the pink one in his cheek} Primum flens et gemens in manum suam evacuavit (sh-t in his hand, sorry) postea stercus proprium quod appellaviat dejectiones meae, in poculum tristitiae posuit, eodem lentiter ac melliflue minxit psalmum qui incipit: Lingua mea calamus scribae velociter scribentis: magna voci cantitans (did a p-ss, says he was dejected, asks to be exonerated) denique ex stercore turpi cum divi Orionis jucunditate mixto, cocto, frigorique exposito encaustum sibi fecit indelibilem (made O'Ryan the devil's own ink). With the dye he wrote minutely, appropriately over every part of the only foolscap available, his own body, till"

FDV3: "never needed such an alcohove for his purpose and when George W Robber, the stat paper king, boycotted him of all stationery & muttonsuet candles for any purpose he went away & made synthetic ink for & unruled foolscap parchment for himself out of his wits' ends. How? Let the manner & the matter of it for these our sporting times be cloaked up in the language of blushfed cardinals that the Anglican cardinal, not reading his own rude speech, may always behold the scarlet brand on the brown of her of Babylon yet feel not the pink one in his own damned cheek Primum {ad terram viviparam et cunctipotentem nec ullo pudori nec venia natibus nudix uti nudi fuissent sese adpropinquans} flens et gemens in manum suam evacuavit (sh-t in his hand, sorry) postea stercus proprium quod appellaviat dejectiones meae, in vasum olim honoribilem tristitiae posuit, eodem lente ac melliflue minxit psalmum qui incipit: Lingua mea calamus scribae velociter scribentis: magna voci cantitans (did a p-ss, says he was dejected, asks to be exonerated) denique ex stercore turpi cum divi Orionis jucunditate mixto, cocto, frigorique exposito encaustum sibi fecit indelibilem (made O'Ryan the devil's own ink). With the double dye he wrote minutely, appropriately over every part of the only foolscap available, his own body, till one"

mysteries:



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0DV: "Furthermore the low creature was a selfvaletter, having got up a kitchenette & fowlhouse for the sake of the eggs in what was meant for a closet"

FDV2: "dam fireproof fireworks, ohs ouis sees gras jas neys thaws ahs yeses and yeses and yeses, tress clippings. {To which add breakages, upheavals, inversions, distortions, of this chambermade music & one actually sees the whirling dervish, exiled in upon his ego, writing the history of himself in furniture.} Of course the low creature was a selfvaleter so he got up what is meant by a kitchenette & fowlhouse for the sake of eggs in what was meant for a closet. Naturally he"

FDV3: "fireproof fireworks, ohs ouis sees gras jas neys thaws ahs yeses and yeses and yeses, tress clippings. To which if one has the stomach add the breakages, upheavals, inversions, distortions, of all this chambermade music one stands a fair chance of actually seeing the whirling dervish, exiled in upon his ego, noonday terrorized by an ineluctable shadow, writing the history of himself in furniture. Of course our low hero was & had to be a selfvaleter so he got up whatever is meant by a kitchenette & fowlhouse for the sake of eggs in what was meant for a closet. Naturally he"

mysteries:



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0DV: "wellknown for violent abuse of self & others."

1DV: "wellknown for violent abuse of self & others. [...] the worst, it is believed, in the western word for pure filth."

FDV2: "by 40 quacks grown day by day in violent abuse of self & others, was the worst, it is believed in our western world for pure filth. The floor was persianly carpeted with burst letters throwaways, cockroaches, dated eggshells, you owe mes, fluefallen smut, fallen lucifers, vestas which had served, twisted goose quills, ejaculated crocodiles' tears, spilt ink, blasphematory spits, stale chestnuts, girls ladies' maidens' wives' widows' nuns' womens' abbess's virgins' wedable whores' sisters' aunts' grandmothers' mothers-in-laws' fostermothers' godmothers' garters, snotworms, princess promises, lees of wine, broken wafers, unloosed shoe latchets, deoxidised carbons, crushed straight waistcoats, globules of mercury, undeleted glete, toothsome pickings,"

FDV3: "by 40 quacks day by day increasing exceeding in violent abuse of self & others, was the worst, it is practically believed even in our playboyish western world for pure filth. The warped flooring of his lair was persianly literatured with burst loveletters citizens' throwaways, telltale stories, stickyback snapshots, bullcockroaches, postdated doubtful eggshells, you owe mes, fluefoul smut, fallen lucifers, vestas, borrowed brogues, cutthroat ties, reversible jackets, blackeyed glasses, neverworn breeches, Godforsaken scapulars, falsehair shirts, twisted quills, seedy ejaculations, crocodiles' tears, spilt ink, blasphematory spits, stale chestnuts, schoolgirls young ladies' peasant maidens' city married wives' merry widows' 3 nuns' workwomens' fat abbess's prudent virgins' wedable impudent whores' silent sisters' Charleys aunts' grandmothers' mothers-in-laws' fostermothers' godmothers' garters, worms of snot, counterfeit francs good best intentions, new quotatoes, limerick damns, stale once current puns, unquestionable issue papers, messes of mottage, princess promises, lees of wine, broken wafers, showered ornaments, unloosed shoe latchets, deoxidised carbons, crushed straight waistcoats, globules of mercury, undeleted glete, toothsome pickings,"

mysteries:



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0DV: "He was able to write in the gloom of his bottle only because his noseglow as it slid over the paper and while he scribbled & scratched nameless shamelessnesses about others over & over his foul text he used to draw endless portraits of himself up and down the two margins as a strikingly handsome young man with lyrics in his eyes and a lovely pair of Italian moustaches. How unwhisperably low! [...] lives in inkbottlehouse"

1DV: "He was able to write in the gloom of his bottle only because of his nose's glow as it slid over the paper and while he scribbled & scratched nameless shamelessnesses about everybody ever he met even under a slimy bridge out of a shower over & over his foul text he used to draw endless portraits of himself up and down the two margins as a strikingly handsome young man with lyrics in his eyes and a lovely pair of inky Italian moustaches. How unwhisperably low! [...] lives at expense of ratepayers in haunted inkbottlehouse infested with the raps"

FDV2: "unsigned first copies of original masterpieces, how many pseudostylous shamiana, how few of the most venerated public impostures, how very many palimpsests slipped from that plagiarist pen? But for his nose's glow as it slid so close to the parchment he would never have penned a word to paper. By that rosy lamp's effluvious burning he scribbled & scratched nameless shamelessness about everybody ever he met, even sheltering for 5 minutes from a shower under the dogs' umbrella of a public wall, all over the margins of his foul text he used to draw endless portraits of himself as a strikingly handsome young man with love lyrics in his eyes & a lovely pair of inky Italian moustaches. How unwhisperably low! The house of Shem, known as the haunted inkbottle, in which he groped through life at the expense of the taxpayers, injected into day & night"

FDV3: "unsigned first copies of original masterpieces, how many pseudostylous shamiana, how few of the most venerated public impostures, how very many palimpsests slipped from that plagiarist pen? Be that as it may, But for his nose's glow as it slid so close to the parchment he would never have penned a word to paper. By that rosy lamp's effluvious burning he scribbled & scratched nameless shamelessness about everybody ever he met, even sheltering for 5 minutes from a spring shower under the dogs' umbrella of a public wall, while all over & up & down the two margins of his foul text the evilsmeller used to draw endlessly inartistic portraits of himself as a strikingly handsome young man with love lyrics in his eyes a tiptop tenor voice, a ducal income of £2O,000 a year derived from landed property, Oxford manners, morals and [...], a brandnew 3 guinea evening suit for a party, & a lovely pair of inky Italian's moustaches. How unwhisperably low! The house of Shame, infested with the raps & known as the haunted inkbottle, in which he groped through life at the expense of the taxpayers, injected into day & night"

mysteries:



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0DV: "that he had been put out of all the best families who had settled in the capital city generally on account of his smell which all cookmaids objected to. In place of tutoring the outlander families plain wholesome handwriting (a thing he never possessed of his own) what do you think he did but copy all their various styles of signature they had so as to utter forged cheques in public for his own profit until, as just related, the Dublin United Scullerymaids kicked him out of the place altogether on account of his stink?"

1DV: "that he had been put out of all the best Klondyker families who had settled in the capital city after its metropoliarchialisation in most cases on account of his smell which all cookmaids objected to. In place of tutoring these best outlander families plain wholesome handwriting (a thing he never possessed of his own) what do you think he did but studied with stolen fruit how to copy all their various styles of signature they had so as to utter large forged cheques in public for his own profit until, as just related, the Dublin United Scullerymaids & house helps kicked the source of annoyance out of the place altogether in the heat of the moment making some remark as they did so about the way he stunk."

FDV2: "how he had been put out of all the best families of the Klondykers who had settled in the capital city after its metropoliarchialisation in nine cases out of ten on account of his smell which all the cookmaids objected to as resembling sinkwater. Instead of tutoring those best families plain wholesome handwriting (a thing he never possessed of his own) what do you think he did but study with stolen fruit how best to copy all their various styles of signature so as one day to utter a colossal forged cheque in public for his own private profit until, as just related, the Dublin United Scullery maids' & Housekeeps' Sorority, kicked the source of annoyance out of the place altogether in the heat of the moment, making some pointed remarks as they did so about the way he stunk. Who knows how many"

FDV3: "how he had been put out of all the best families of the Klondykers who had settled in the capital city after its metropoliarchialisation ordered of the premises in nine cases out of ten on account of his smell which all the cookmaids objected to as resembling the smell that came out of the sink. Instead of tutoring those best families plain wholesome handwriting (a thing he never possessed of his own) what do you think he did but study with stolen fruit how best to copy all their various styles of signature so as one day to utter a colossal forged cheque in public for his own private profit until, as just related, the Dublin United Scullery maids' & Housekeeps' Sorority, treating him kicked the source of annoyance out of the place altogether in the heat of the moment, making some pointed remarks as they did so about the low way he stunk. One cannot even begin to imagine how really low such a creature really was. Who knows how many"

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0DV: "what with the bad light the dirty print, the torn page, the scum in his eyes, the drink in his stomach, the rats in his garret and the hullabaloo in his ears Did Was there ever heard of such low down blackguardism? [...] Low wretched that he was he used to boast"

1DV: "what with the bad light the dirty print, the torn page, the scum in his eyes, the drink in his stomach, the rats in his garret and the hullabaloo in his ears he was not fit to memorise as much as a word a minute Was there ever heard of such low down blackguardism? [...] Low wretched tutor that he was he used to boast"

FDV2: "for what with the murky light, the botchy print, the jigjagged page, the scum in his eye, the drink in his pottle, the rats in his garret, the hullabaloo in his ears he was hardly fit to memorise more than a word a minute. Was there ever heard of such lowdown blackguardism? Yet he used to boast aloud to himself"

FDV3: "for what with the murky light, the botchy print, the tattered jacket the jigjagged page, the itch jig in his ribs, the gush in his fundament, the fumbling fingers, the itch in his palm the tickle of his tail, the scum in his eye, the drink in his pottle, the rats in his garret, the hullabaloo and the dust in his ears he was hardly fit to memorise more than a word a minute. Was there ever heard of such lowdown blackguardism? Yet the bumpersprinkler used to boast aloud to himself"

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0DV: "found himself looking into the barrel of an irregular revolver at point blank range. [...] A drug addict, too, his manner was to write strings of honourable, learned, highplaced initials after his name while, if you could only have seen into his den, whenever he made believe to read one of his tattered chapbooks he did nothing but turn over three or 4 pages at a time growling because"

1DV: "he found himself looking into the barrel at point blank range of an irregular revolver of the bulldog pattern of some unknown quarreler who supposedly had been told off to shade Shem shd he come stir out awhile to be creased. [...] A drug addict, too, his manner when he was at a loose end was to write strings of honourable, learned, highplaced neoclassical initials after his name while, if you could only have seen into his den, whenever he made believe to read one of his tattered chapbooks he did nothing but turn over three or 4 pages at a time growling because"

FDV2: "he found himself at point blank range blinking into the barrel of an irregular revolver of the true bulldog pattern handled by and unknown quarreler who supposedly had been told off to shade Shem should the shit show his nose out awhile before he got creased. What was this extremely low human type really engaged on? The answer is: a drug addict megalomane at a loose end. This explains the litany of letters, honorific, highplaced, erudite, neoclassical which he loved to place after his name. It would have diverted much if ever seen the spectacle of this zany in the grime of his den making believe to read his tattered chapbook turning over 3 pages at a time"

FDV3: "he found himself at point blank range blinking into the barrel of an irregular revolver of the true bulldog pattern handled by and unknown quarreler who supposedly had been told off to shade & shoot shy Shem should the shit show his shiny nose out awhile to look facts in the face before he got hosed & creased by 1 or 2 of the playboys. What was this extremely low human type really engaged on? The answer is: a drug & drunkery addict megalomane at a loose end. This explains the litany of letters, honorific, highplaced, erudite, neoclassical which he loved to place after his name. It would have diverted much if ever seen the shuddersome spectacle of this zany in the grime of his den making believe to read his eminently unreadable chapbook turning over 3 sheets in the wind"

mysteries:



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