Wednesday, June 11, 2014

[The three childhood vignettes]

(together at last for the first time?)

Shortly after having come into this vale of tears, the little stranger Kevineen delighted himself by sporting with the sponge on tubbing night. As a growing boy under the influence of holy religion instilled into him across his grandmother's old king Jones's knee he grew more and more pious like the time God knows when ejaculating for forty days indulgence and ten quarantines he sat down on the plate of mutton broth. He simply had no time for girls and things and often used he to say to his dearest mother and dear sisters as how his dearest mother and dear sisters were good enough for him. Of him we are further told that at the age of six he wrote a school prize essay on kindness to freshwater fish.

VI.A "welcome little stranger"

For her prudence she always left the key of her press in the lock of her press, the pen of the inkbottle in the neck of the ink bottle. Never were they lost. For her learning in geog she knew that Italy was a jackboot, India a pink ham and France a patched quilt. For her charm she knew how to stagemanage her legs in the several positions of goody twoshoes, aunty Nance, stepladder, green peas, love me little, funny toast, lovers' lever, love me long. For her health only her in the house got the measles when she was a bottlefed babe. For her piety Isolde's night prayer and orison so ran: -- Howfar wartnevin alibithename Kingcome illbedone nerth tisnevin. Usisday daybread givesdressp sweegivethem dresspas gainstus leesnot tootntation liversm evil Men.
For her learning in zoog she knew lamb, lamb a young sheep. For her domestic economy she cleaned the chimney flue by setting fire to an Irish Times and hooshing it blazing up the flue and she washed the hall by standing leaving her wet umbrella ?sweeping open in a corner. For her pity there were times she even pitied the damned old devil himself playing demon patience after his lunch of hot air fanning himself with his asbestos slippers in the coolingroom in hell. For her charity one day when it was sneezing cold she met a beggargirl in the park and, having no small change about her, she went behind a bramblebush, slipped off her sprigged petticoat and gave it to the beggargirl who instantly disappeared (she having been in point of fact Saint Dympna who got up the exhibition of poverty on purpose) along with the petticoat. On another occasion there was a pestilence caused by a certain dragon who said it would go on for ever unless she took off all her clothes and walked from Cape Clear to Mizzen Head. So she did this. And everybody pulled down all their blinds in Ireland. The dragon was then converted and entered a nunnery.

A great dab was Franky at the manual arith, sure enough, that's the bekase he knew no boy better why his ten fingures were given him whatfor. Anyhows he was fond always of cardinals. Always would he be areciting and arecreating them up by a rota from fursed to laced quickmarch to decemvir like to throway your hat purpely on to tall spilicans so as to know the tenners thumbs down, ace, deuce, tricks, quarts, quims and on the other hand, sexes, suppers, oglers, novels and dices. What signifies all that but he always caught dull marks in his nucleud and allgobrew. O, it bate him up. Binomeans to be comprendered. The aximones. Equal = hsaoc. Ploato [p.l.o.t.o.]. So, Comic cuts was always in page fond and flirty so always at long last as it would happen had he to bid adeuce to the cardinhands he so liked. It would be then dear hearts of my counting farewell to back numbers & please lick one and turn over to problem...

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